There’s a reason the Hawaii chair is all over the Internet!

And it’s because it’s 100% ridiculous! And (like most things) it’s even better with some Ellen!

Do I even need to comment on this gem?

An interesting juxtaposition

Because I’m on hiatus from the working world (okay fine, I’m unemployed) I have time to do things like go to the movies. I really like going to the movies, but it can get really expensive ($12 in NYC!). Anyway, last week I had some time and was actually off the couch, so I decided to see a movie. I had been curious about The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, but the timing wasn’t right, and instead I went to see 4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days (Romanian: 4 luni, 3 săptămâni şi 2 zile). As you may have guessed, this is a Romanian movie, and it has been hailed by critics as one of the greatest movies of the year (see Wikipedia for specifics). The movie follows a student’s attempt to get an (illegal) abortion in 1987. Anyway, I’m not here to review the movie, besides to say that it was really well done.

The reason that I’m writing this is because of what I saw directly after 4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days. I had some time after the movie ended, so I decided to be cheap and just pop into steal another movie. I just went into whatever was around and hadn’t started. Funny, because that happened to be The Business of Being Born, a documentary on birth in the U.S. that was produced by Ricki Lake (yes, that Ricki Lake). I like documentaries, and this was a good one about how the way that birth has veered away from the natural and healthy in the U.S. It includes footage of several doula- and midwife- assisted births, which were a lot less disgusting to me than that horrible Miracle of Life video they make you watch in school (I didn’t see it until a human sexuality class in college).

Ah, but the miracle of birth right after the illegal abortion movie? Well done, Martie, well done. I will say that the documentary emphasized couples who were proactive about the process of being pregnant and giving birth, which leads me to believe that if these pregnancies weren’t planned, they were at last welcomed. Obviously, abortion is a contentious issue that can be polarizing, and I think it’s really, well, I guess just astonishing that reproductive rights are still up in the air in the U.S.

Anyway, both of these movies were fundamentally about choice, specifically the choices that women can and can’t make with regards to their bodies. As with nearly every issue in the U.S. and the world, it all comes down to providing information and comprehensive education.

I highly recommend 4 3 2, and kind of recommend TBOBB (I would have been pissed to have paid $12 to see it, but I learned a lot!). The bonus of TBOBB is that you get to watch several women give birth, including our dear Ricki herself. I do respect her for putting this out there in an effort to educate people about birth options, but it’s still Ricki Lake giving birth. Here is one of the more covered up moments:

Why I support Barack Obama:

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and it should be a big day! According to CNN, polls say that Obama and Clinton are in a dead heat. I want to avoid analyzing the candidates’ positions on the issues right now, and but I think it’s fair to say that either Hillary or Barack will be a decent alternative to the current administration. Of course, I think that my cats would be a better alternative at this point. Anyway, I want to make note of Hillary’s campaign slogan: Ready for Change. I find it quite telling pretty ridiculous that Hillary chose to have former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright next to her, along with her husband, during her victory speech in Iowa (see above- thanks CNN). What kind of change does that mean we’re in store for? Obama is a fresh face with fresh ideas. His nomination and election would mean that we’re going to be free of the Bush and Clinton dynasties, which have been in power since 1989!

Just a quick thought–I’m struck by the number of women who have told me that they’re supporting Hillary simply because she’s a woman. I think it’s really great that we have two front-runners on the Democratic side who aren’t white men, but there should be more to it than gender.

Here is where I urge you to go out and vote tomorrow. If you’re not yet registered, do it now so you’ll be ready to vote in the general election!

A (desperate?) call for YOUR input!

While I have already given out the Commenter of the Week award and hoped that would get your fingers flying, apparently that only works for certain members of the Pomona-Pitzer women’s lacrosse team (GO HENS!).

When I first started, I had tons of stuff to say. Now I don’t really feel like I have much more to write about. I like writing, and I like doing whole blogging thing. I just don’t really feel like I have much material to work with right now.

Someone out there, please help me! Be my muse. Tell me what you want to read about. Ask me for advice about something specific in your life. It can be anonymous. It can be public. It can be via comment. You can email me. (Carrie, I’m looking at you…)

Just please do something to help me out here!

I wish this were “The Nanny Blog”?

It’s hard to find a steady babysitting or nannying job in this big city.

I’ve browsed craigslist, joined sittercity, and have found nothing appealing. People in this town have unrealistic expectations about time and money. I mean, if I really wanted $10/hr for working 3-7 each day, I could find something pretty easily. But what kind of a schedule is that? How am I supposed to fill the rest of that time?

I guess this is kind of a long shot, but if you know anyone who is looking for a babysitter or nanny in NYC I think you should tell them that I’m here with tons of experience working with kids. It’s like I’m just waiting to turn into Mary Poppins.

Please let me know if you have other suggestions of odd jobs that might be interesting, fun, and/or good to write about. If I were a little more hwp (height and weight proportionate- thanks craigslist) i would seriously consider using it for my financial advantage. But, alas, I’m not, and I have to make the best of what I have and hopefully have some great experiences along the way!

Also, if anyone wants to hire a bee, like if you’re doing a remake of Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video or are throwing a party for a Georgia Tech fan, then I’m your woman!

The debacle that is Kenya

Up until about a month ago, if somebody asked you to name a stable country in Africa, odds are that you would have said “Kenya.” That’s because Kenya was a stable country, with a strong, growing economy. And then the shit hit the fan.

If my life plan had not been altered, I would have been in Kenya when all this happened. When my two year Peace Corps adventure turned into a two week quick jaunt, I left it all behind. I also left behind a whole lot of really good friends (it’s amazing how quickly you can get close to people when you’re in a new situation…). Anyway, the point is that Kenya is no longer the stable democratic nation that it was not long ago.

Today, Kenya’s busted. There was an election on December 27 in which Kenyans voted for the next president, who serves a 5-year term. The major candidates were the incumbent, Mwai Kibaki, a member of the Kikuyu tribe, and Raila Odinga, a Luo. Kibaki was sworn in soon after the election results were called in his favor, even though Odinga and others said that the election was rigged. Kibaki said that he would form a coalition government with Odinga’s party, but it was the equivalent of a big fat “Psych!” as he quickly swore in his entire cabinet. The whole thing led to violence, with Odinga’s Luos going after the Kikuyus, looting their homes and even burning them down. In case you forgot, it’s now February, which means that this has been going on for more than a month. In Kenya, with East Africa’s largest economy, no less. Estimates of the number of people that have died range from 800 to over 1000, and hundreds of thousands of Kenyans have been displaced from their homes. Most of the fighting is happening in Western province and the Rift Valley.

The major problem here is that thre doesn’t seem like there’s any sort of viable solution. Odinga and Kibaki signed a peace agreement on Friday, but that same day Kibaki’s suporters were speaking out against the Luo. Most talk is about what happened and why, with little focused on what to do now. The UN and the African Union are both calling for peace, but there’s not a lot of discourse about what to do. It doesn’t seem like there’s really a viable solution that anyone will really be happy with. With both sides trading blame, it’s difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

This is really only scratching the surface, and there are tons of news articles about this… I hope that they will figure something out soon so that Kenyans can go back to living their lives.

(To my PC friends– I’m thinking about you, and I have my fingers crossed for your safe return. Pole pole).

A major award!

No, unfortunately it’s not a leg lamp.

Instead, it’s the “Commenter of the Week” award! And it’s the inaugural edition, so it’s one for the history books!

Allison Fussell-Louie, here’s to you!

We love you yes we do.

We love you best of all the rest.

Oh, AFuzz, here’s to you!

Want to win next week’s award? Then start commenting! It’s not so hard! And it makes me feel good inside. Isn’t that what we’re all going for?

I do not want to make phobias into a laughing matter…

…but this video leaves me no other option.

Maury: Are you just afraid they’ll pop?
Yvonne: Everything. The look of them, the way they float, everything about them.
Maury: The way they float?
Yvonne: Everything.
Maury: You’re worried about them floating? What could they do?
Yvonne: I don’t know, I just don’t like it.

It gets worse! You don’t have to take my word for it though, because thanks to the wonders of YouTube and the Internet, we can now watch this over and over and over again…

If that piqued your interest, you can also find clips of a waitress who is afraid of pickles (choose another job! c’mon!) and a 270-pound man who is scared of peaches.

Thanks, Maury, for another round that has nothing to do with paternity! Who knew!

Whyoming?

This weekend I came across a Wyoming state quarter.

Thanks to The 50 States Commemorative Coin Program Act, our wallets, washing machines and skeeball games are now filled with various icons of the United States. According to its website, the goal of the U.S. Mint’s state quarters program is to “to promote the diffusion of knowledge among the youth of the United States about the individual states, their history and geography, and the rich diversity of the national heritage…” and in order to accomplish this, the Mint is releasing a quarter with a unique design for each state. There is a wide range of designs when it comes to the quarters. New York’s features an outline of the state and the Statue of Liberty, while Vermont’s has a guy tapping maple trees. That’s because each state got to choose its own design with few restraints (no state seals, no living people, etc.) Many, but not all, states chose to include their state’s motto or another caption. Now, finally back to Wyoming: Wyoming’s quarter has its motto and a picture of a man on a bucking bronco. It looks like this:

Wait a second. Did anyone forget that we’re talking about Wyoming right now? The Equality State. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know much about Wyoming, despite having driven through it and spending an (unfortunate) night in the great state’s capital, Cheyenne. One of Wyoming’s greatest assets is Yellowstone National Park (and the nation’s first national park!), home to that reliable friend, Old Faithful Geyser. A quick Internet search reveals that Wyoming is also home to the jackalope, Buffalo Bill, and the Ames Pyramid. It seems that there isn’t a shortage of icons that Wyoming could have used to fill its quarter. Instead, there’s a bucking bronco, a state nickname (!!!), and a whole lot of blank space.

Wyoming’s state motto is “Equal Rights.” This is because it was the first state to recognize women’s suffrage, which it did in 1869. Obviously, this is where the nickname “The Equality State” comes from.  But when you hear someone talk about a state big on equality, do you immediately think of Wyoming? If I were doing word association and I heard “Wyoming,”my mind immediately goes to Matthew Shepard. That’s, like, the exact opposite of equality.

A quick history lesson: In 1998, 21-year-old gay University of Wyoming student Matthew Shepard was murdered near Laramie, WY in what has become one of the most well known hate crimes. His attackers pretended they were gay and offered him a ride home. They drove him to a remote location, robbed him, beat him, and tied him to a fence. He was found barely alive 18 hours later, and died in the hospital soon after. Shepard’s funeral was picketed by Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church (of “God Hates Fags” fame). In response, Shepard’s friends and supporters built huge angel wings and formed a circle to block out the protesters. They did the same when Phelps and his group attended the attackers’ trials and sentencing. Shepard’s murderers claimed that Shepard was hitting on them and they panicked. One plead guilty and the other was tried and found guilty; they are each serving two consecutive life sentences.

Shepard’s story was immortalized in a play, The Laramie Project, which has been performed often and was made into a film, as well as two other movies, The Matthew Shepard Story and Anatomy of a Hate Crime. Shepard has been the subject of many more songs and works, including ones by Tori Amos, Elton John, and Melissa Etheridge. Shepard’s murder is one of the most abhorrent crimes to have ever been committed.

While this one act does not indicate that all of Wyoming is homophobic or hateful, it is something that many people associate with Wyoming. This is why I find it nothing short of incredible that Wyoming’s state quarter includes the words “The Equality State.” Would it have been so bad to instead rely on Old Faithful?

Someone left the cake out in the rain…

Once, when I was probably 8 or 9, I was driving in the car with my family. The song “MacArthur Park” came on the radio, and my sister and I laughed our asses off (though at the time we might have said we laughed our tushies off). It’s actually one of my favorite memories, as I can vividly remember what it felt like to be laughing that hard and how funny it was to us. Now, if you aren’t really familiar with Jimmy Webb (the song’s writer), Richard Harris or Donna Summer, you might not have any idea what I’m talking about. The (in)famous verse:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down…
Someone left the cake out in the rain
and I don’t think that I can take it
’cause it took so long to bake it
and I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Wikipedia tells me that the Richard Harris version of this is song (released in 1968) made it to the second place on U.S. charts, and topped the charts in Britain. The song is 7:21, which is really long. Donna Summer released a very popular shortened disco version in 1978, which it reached #1 on the Billboard charts. She also had a version that was even longer than the Harris original, clocking in at 8:40.

Anyway, okay, it was a popular song! Wait, does anyone else find that funny? Of course they do, because that song has been spoofed numerous times. But wouldn’t you say that they were just asking for it? Sure, it’s a metaphor, but it says “Someone left the cake out in the rain” for crying out loud! That is just hilarious! I don’t even know what else to say about it. Wait, that’s obviously not true. I have to say that it’s pretty amazing that the song was written by a 22-year-old boy man. It’s not that I don’t think that someone that age can be hurt and write about it eloquently, but rather that someone that age would compare losing that love to leaving a CAKE OUTSIDE WHILE IT RAINS. (You can read more about the song and its writer here.)

The reason I’m writing about this now is because I heard this song on the radio last night. It was the Donna Summer version. I can’t believe that people are serious about playing this song! It’s not like they were like, “Oh! It’s Saturday night, so let’s play the most ridiculous song in our library.” Well, if they were thinking that, they sure as hell didn’t say it.

Because I know you are on the edge of your seat to hear this gem in its entirety, here is a video of Donna Summer performing it (we’re extra lucky because it’s a karaoke video, so you can really get a feel for all the heart-wrenching lyrics!):